Why, there was Amateur Bob! But, now, sitting as he was, in the grasp of a rather large black bear, he was Blubbering Bob, no longer Amateur Bob!
Well, the bear had Bob by the nape of his pencil neck. Now, it was no ordinary feat for this bear to pull off, to hold Blubbering Bob by his tiny neck, without harming him, but the bear, nonetheless, was making do. Bob, as you may have guessed, at this point, was quite nervous, and was, in fact, blubbering.
"Well, howdy there, Mr. Bear" I intoned. "What's going on?"
"Friend runner," the bear replied, "I've caught this annoying pest in my grasp and I am contemplating how to best dispose of him. I'm rather famished, having avoided those other annoying homo sapiens with the guns, this morning, but this morsel I've caught can hardly expect to sate my appetite. Another thought I had was to tear him limb from limb, as it were, but being as tiny a creature as he is, those would neither be challenging, nor satisfying. Look at his tiny feet, will you? He barely fills a size 9 running shoe!"
"Great pun, friend bear!" says I. "Perhaps I can be so bold as to offer to try to help you resolve this apparent dilemma and get on with your fattening process to prepare you for the winter's hibernation?"
"Why, that's mighty kind of you, friend runner! What, exactly, would the nature of your discourse have to contribute to my thought process?"
"Friend Bear, do you mind if I call you FB? A good friend of mine used to tell me all the time I was FB, but it meant something besides being the acronym for 'Friend Bear'. FB would just be so much easier, if you don't object to the familiarity brought by such a moniker."
"Why no, I don't mind at all, since this conversation seems to be occurring both in the spirit of friendship, and on the internet, where such shorthands are quite commonplace. It would be quite all right with me, I assure you. How, pray tell, would you prefer to me refer to you?"
"Well, many people call me Director Greg, although that's not my real name. Others call me Mr. Farnham, but you doesn't has to call me Mr. Farnham, and I would normally react to hearing that name by looking for my paterfamilias. It's certainly your choice, but some folks also call me FB, the B referring to Brilliant; however, if I call you FB, and you call me FB, there wouldn't be much differentiation, would there? No, I think another handle would be far better. I've just been struck by a FB thought - would don't you call me PTMD? That would be fitting both of us, and finer by far than anything else thus far brought to mind. How do you feel 'bout PTMD, FB?"
"PTMD suits me if it suits you, PTMD. What, pray tell, is its meaning?"
"Many years ago, in a closed area far, far away, there was a simple man, who sang a simple tune. He proposed to make life better for everyone. Although he eventually did improve the lot of the lot, he was ridiculed, criticized, ostracized, and made to feel paranoid by the lot, simply for the reason that the time it took him to deliver on his promise, to actually create the future that he predicted was possible, was not equal to zero. In the meantime between creating the vision for the better life, and causing the conditions to change to equal it, the others joked about his vision, and called him 'Puff, The Magic Dragon' since he seemed to be blowing a lot of smoke. Dragons, you will recall from history, smoked a lot, and not just after sex. In any case, that name has been shortened to form the acronym PTMD, by which you may refer to me, who was that simple man."
"Well, if it doesn't bring back bad memories?"
"Bad - hardly. I look upon those times with relish as the good old days, when people talked about you behind your back, instead of right in front of you as though you were invisible."
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